Crunch Crunch

There's something about crunching on a cold, juicy dill pickle that relieves tension.

I have eaten 7 of them today.

I'm stressed out. I'm trying to wrap my brain around the reality of this new state: divorced. I'm trying to actually walk through the door into that better life that everyone keeps saying they see for me. I'm trying to have faith that life, fulfilled life, exists for me if I keep moving forward.

But this letting go thing kind of sucks lately. And because I am trying to be a good little Christian girl and actually attempt the whole celibacy thing (including no more shenanigans with the ex!) I have some pent up energy to release.

So I'm eating pickles.

It doesn't quite have the same afterglow that a session of sweaty athletic sex has. And my fingers smell like vinegar and my breath is now bad. But I'm pretty sure I won't end up feeling guilty for it tomorrow.

This probably isn't the solution that my therapist had in mind when she suggested I come up with an alternative way to deal with my anxiety and grief instead of sleeping with Ex. She really should have been more specific. I don't pay her $70 an hour so that I can come up with the answers on my own!